


Beneath the Pseudo-Mistletoe

by Tarlan



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Christmas, Community: mcsheplets, First Time, Humor, M/M, Mild Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-26
Updated: 2011-12-26
Packaged: 2017-10-28 04:33:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/303772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mistletoe was one tradition that Rodney thought he could do without.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beneath the Pseudo-Mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

> Written for McSheplets prompt #113 Festive  
> Meets AncientCtyBingo prompt #20 Botany Lessons

Rodney ground his teeth and tried his hardest glare--the one that sent his minions screaming from the labs--but he could see the way John's lips were twitching as if hard-pressed to hold back on one of his horrendous honking laughs.

"That's really... festive, Rodney." John narrowed his eyes. "Though if you think anyone is going to kiss you beneath **that** then--"

"This is all your fault," he snapped. Rodney made to stab an accusing finger at John but almost lost his precarious grip on the sprig of spiky, pseudo-mistletoe that was barely covering his dignity. "You had to go tell Ronon all about Earth Christmas traditions."

John gave one of those raised-eyebrow, surprised looks. "I don't recall mentioning being... naked in any of them."

"Give me your pants."

"What? No!"

"I'm sure no one will complain on seeing your hairy legs and nonexistent ass clad in stripy blue boxers." Which aggrieved Rodney even more as he doubted he would gain anything other than more mockery if anyone else came along and saw him like this, whereas they'd be lining the corridors and wolf-whistling Sheppard. Damn Ronon for stealing his clothes and only leaving him with this... this...

His brain sputtered to a halt when John folded his arms over his chest. "And how would you know about my ass... and boxers?"

Rodney gave an eye roll in annoyance. "As if anyone on the expedition hasn't noticed your pants hanging so low they're practically around your knees. OW!" He tried--unsuccessfully--to snap his fingers for the pants, only to get stabbed by one of the thorns protecting the small white berries. Real mistletoe didn't have thorns, he thought viciously, and smiled as he thought of a way to get payback on the botany department.

John back pedaled with both hands raised defensively. "I'm not giving you my pants, McKay."

"Then do something useful and go find me something--" He squeaked and ducked back into the shadows as someone came round the far corner of the corridor, heading their way.

John turned and nodded politely to the passing scientists. Fortunately, they were so smitten with being acknowledged by the military head of Atlantis that they never noticed Rodney hiding behind him. Rodney let out a sigh of relief after they had gone, grateful that he had been spared yet another undignified moment. This was like his worst nightmare of walking into the lab only to find he was naked. Actually, he thought, there was no _LIKE_ about it. This _was_ his worst nightmare made real.

"Look... My quarters are just a few doors along," John stated but held up a finger. "I'll loan you a pair of pants."

Rodney closed his eyes in gratitude before realizing he still had to negotiate twenty feet of corridor to get from the communal shower room--that he'd used instead of messing up his glorious bathroom with grease and oil from mending broken machinery in the depths of Atlantis--to John's quarters. The next recess in the wall was about half the distance to John's quarters and he darted out quickly, brushing by John and ducking in quick. When John caught up moment's later, he wouldn't look Rodney in the eye and his face was a little flushed.

"What? I know you've seen my naked ass before." He made shooing motions. "Go get the door open."

John snapped off a sloppy, insolent salute and headed onwards, waiting half across the threshold as Rodney scurried inside. Brushing past John sent the pseudo-mistletoe digging into delicate skin and Rodney yelped as his fingers tightened around the thorns before dropping it on the floor. He tried to examine his groin for any injury while sucking the bead of blood from his finger. When he looked up, John was standing a few feet away, staring straight at him with mouth agape, cheeks flushed, and pupils fully dilated; there was no mistaking the tenting in his too baggy pants.

"John?" Rodney narrowed his eyes. Admittedly, his track record with women was terrible but he'd never had a problem knowing when another man was interested in more than just his magnificent brains.

John seemed to shake himself out of whatever head space he'd fallen into, and started to back away so Rodney moved slowly forward, wincing as he gathered up the prickly Pegasus mistletoe. With John's back almost to the closed door, Rodney held up the pseudo-mistletoe above his head... and waited. He saw the exact moment when panic faded and predatory lust took over, smiling as John moved in, grasped the back of Rodney's head and dragged them into a kiss. The pseudo-mistletoe fell to the floor again, forgotten, as the kiss deepened.

****

Rodney hummed happily as he played fingers through the forest of dark hairs adorning John's chest. They were squashed together on John's pitifully small bed, with Rodney half on top of John, and it was perfect. Even the stickiness of cooling semen couldn't spoil the afterglow. A short while later, he groaned in annoyance as John wriggled free but he was actually happy to be proved wrong about the nonexistent ass. It was a very fine, muscular ass, and it was heading into the small bathroom. That was even better as the semen was now cold and itchy. He laid back and smiled, stretching as luxuriously as possible in the limited space as John cleaned them both up before heading back to the bathroom.

When he returned, he was carrying the sprig of pseudo-mistletoe and an impish smile. He crawled up from the base of the bed and dropped the mistletoe on Rodney's exposed belly. He licked his lips hungrily as he eyed Rodney's slowly filling cock.

"I was wrong," John stated hoarsely... and began to kiss Rodney beneath the mistletoe.

END


End file.
